Comedian

Celebrity quotes

George Burns quote: “I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s…”

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Comedian

Fred Allen quote: “Imitation is the sincerest form of television…”

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Celebrity quotes

George Burns quote: “I’m at the age now where just…”

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Celebrity quotes

George Burns quote: “If you live to be one hundred…”

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Comedian

Fred Allen quote: “If I could get my membership fee…”

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Comedian

Fred Allen quote: “I’d rather have a full bottle in…”

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Celebrity quotes

Robin Williams quote: “Winning an Oscar is an honor, but…”

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Celebrity quotes

Robin Williams quote: “I think I am sometimes a poster child for…”

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Celebrity quotes

Robin Williams quote: “Being a famous print journalist is like…”

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Celebrity quotes

Robin Williams quote: “Even fools seem smart when they are…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I think foosball is a combination of…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I wish I could play little league…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I would imagine that if you could…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I once saw a forklift lift a…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “Spaghetti… I can’t eat spaghetti, there’s too…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “The depressing thing about tennis is that…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “This shirt is dry clean only. Which means…”

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Animal & pet quotes

Mitch Hedberg quote: “People teach their dogs to sit; it’s…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “Rice is great if you’re really hungry…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “My sister wanted to be an actress…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “My belt holds my pants up, but…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “My fake plants died because I did…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “My friend asked me if I wanted…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “It’s very dangerous to wave to people…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “It’s weird… people say they’re not like…”

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Comedian

Paul Lynde quote: “I think basically an actor is a…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m…”

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Comedian

Paul Lynde quote: “I have an ulcer. It has an…”

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Comedian

Paul Lynde quote: “Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be…”

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