Funny quotes

Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “One morning I shot an elephant in…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “No man goes before his time —…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “Next time I see you, remind me…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “My mother loved children — she would…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “My favorite poem is the one that…”

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Comedian

Jay London quote: “My father would take me to the…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “Military justice is to justice what military…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “Marry me and I’ll never look at…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “Man does not control his own fate…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “I’ve got the brain of a four…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “It isn’t necessary to have relatives in…”

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Comedian

Jay London quote: “It all started when my dog began…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and…”

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Comedian

Jay London quote: “I’m on performance enhancing drugs, so I…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “I’m not feeling very well — I…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “I’m leaving because the weather is too…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “If you’ve heard this story before, don’t…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “If I held you any closer I…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “I, not events, have the power to…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “I won’t belong to any organization that…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “I worked my way up from nothing…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “I wish to be cremated. One tenth…”

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Comedian

Jay London quote: “I went to the doctor and he…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “I was married by a judge. I…”

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Comedian

Eddie Izzard quote: “I wanna live ’til I die…”

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Comedian

Jay London quote: “I saw a stationery store move…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “I remember the first time I had…”

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