20th century

Alexander Woollcott

Alexander Woollcott quote: “I’m tired of hearing it said that…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I’m writing a book. I’ve got the…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I’m writing an unauthorized autobiography…”

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Christian quotes

Norman Vincent Peale quote: “Imagination is the true magic carpet…”

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Artist

Henri Matisse quote: “Impressionism is the newspaper of the soul…”

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Don Marquis

Don Marquis quote: “In all systems of theology the devil…”

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Comedian

Phyllis Diller quote: “I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing…”

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Comedian

W. C. Fields quote: “I’m free of all prejudices. I hate…”

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Artist

Henri Matisse quote: “I’m growing old, I delight in the…”

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Comedian

Elayne Boosler quote: “I’m just a person trapped inside a…”

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Celebrity quotes

Susan Powter quote: “I’m not a role model to my…”

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Comedian

George Carlin quote: “I’m always relieved when someone is delivering…”

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Comedian

George Carlin quote: “I’m completely in favor of the separation…”

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Bob Hope

Bob Hope quote: “If you watch a game, it’s fun…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “If you were going to shoot a…”

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Celebrity quotes

Mel Brooks quote: “If you’re quiet, you’re not living. You’ve…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I’m a heroine addict. I need to…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I’m against picketing, but I don’t know…”

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Christian quotes

Norman Vincent Peale quote: “If you paint in your mind a…”

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Christian quotes

Norman Vincent Peale quote: “If you put off everything till you’re…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “If you saw a heat wave, would…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “If you shoot at mimes, should you…”

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Life quotes

Paulo Coelho quote: “If you start by promising what you…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “If you tell a joke in the…”

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Business quotes

Henry Ford quote: “If you think you can do a…”

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Celebrity quotes

Susan Powter quote: “If you want a higher power, go…”

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Don Marquis

Don Marquis quote: “If you want to get rich from…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “If you are in a spaceship that…”

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Comedian

George Carlin quote: “If you can’t beat them, arrange to…”

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Comedian

W. C. Fields quote: “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance…”

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