21st century

Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “If you shoot at mimes, should you…”

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Life quotes

Paulo Coelho quote: “If you start by promising what you…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “If you tell a joke in the…”

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Celebrity quotes

Susan Powter quote: “If you want a higher power, go…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “If you are in a spaceship that…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “If you can’t hear me, it’s because…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “If you had a million Shakespeares, could…”

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Comedian

Lewis Black quote: “If the people of New Zealand want…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “If it’s a penny for your thoughts…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “If a word in the dictionary were…”

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Celebrity quotes

Whoopi Goldberg quote: “If every American donated five hours a…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “If God dropped acid, would he see…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “If I had nine of my fingers…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I wrote a few children’s books… not…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I’d like to get four people who…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I wish my name was Brian, because…”

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Vera Wang

Vera Wang quote: “I work with structure, but I go…”

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Octavia Butler

Octavia Butler quote: “I would never have been a good…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I went down the street to the…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I went to a general store. They…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I went to a restaurant that serves…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I went to the bank and asked…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I went to the museum where they…”

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Berke Breathed

Berke Breathed quote: “I will go to my grave in…”

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Celebrity quotes

Ellen DeGeneres quote: “I was coming home from kindergarten…”

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Celebrity quotes

Ellen DeGeneres quote: “I was raised around heterosexuals, as all…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I was reading the dictionary. I thought…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I was trying to daydream, but my…”

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