21st century

Steven Spielberg

Steven Spielberg quote: “I like the smell of film. I…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I like to hold the microphone cord…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I like to play blackjack. I’m not…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I like to reminisce with people I…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I live on a one-way street that’s…”

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Funny quotes

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I love blackjack. But I’m not addicted…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I installed a skylight in my apartment…..”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I intend to live forever. So far…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I invented the cordless extension cord…”

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Octavia Butler

Octavia Butler quote: “I just knew there were stories I…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I know a lot about cars, man…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four…”

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Comedian

Elayne Boosler quote: “I have six locks on my door…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I have the world’s largest collection of…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I haven’t slept for ten days, because…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I hooked up my accelerator pedal in…”

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Berke Breathed

Berke Breathed quote: “I ignore Hallmark Holidays. And this comes…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I had to stop driving my car…”

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Octavia Butler

Octavia Butler quote: “I have a huge and savage conscience…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I have an answering machine in my…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I have an existential map. It has…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I had some eyeglasses. I was walking…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I drive way too fast to worry…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I got a chain letter by fax…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I got this powdered water — now…”

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Celebrity quotes

Whoopi Goldberg quote: “I grew up in a time when…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I had a friend who was a…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I had a stick of CareFree gum…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I drank some boiling water because I…”

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Steven Spielberg

Steven Spielberg quote: “I dream for a living…”

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