Steven Wright

Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I met this wonderful girl at Macy’s…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I like to reminisce with people I…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I live on a one-way street that’s…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I installed a skylight in my apartment…..”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I intend to live forever. So far…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I invented the cordless extension cord…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I have the world’s largest collection of…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I hooked up my accelerator pedal in…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I had to stop driving my car…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I have an answering machine in my…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I have an existential map. It has…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I drive way too fast to worry…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I got a chain letter by fax…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I got this powdered water — now…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I had a friend who was a…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I had some eyeglasses. I was walking…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I bought some batteries, but they weren’t…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I bought some instant water one time…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I busted a mirror and got seven…”

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Quotes about getting older

Steven Wright quote: “How young can you die of old age?”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “Hermits have no peer pressure…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “George is a radio announcer, and when…”

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Funny quotes

Steven Wright quote: “For my birthday I got a humidifier…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “Everywhere is within walking distance if you…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “Ever notice how irons have a setting…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “Don’t you hate when your hand falls…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “Do you think that when they asked…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “Cross country skiing is great if you…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “Curiosity killed the cat, but for a…”

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