Comedian

Comedian

W. C. Fields quote: “I always keep a supply of stimulant…”

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Comedian

W. C. Fields quote: “Horse sense is the thing a horse…”

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Comedian

Phyllis Diller quote: “Housework can’t kill you, but why take…”

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Comedian

W. C. Fields quote: “Hell, I never vote for anybody, I…”

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Comedian

Fred Allen quote: “Her hat is a creation that will…”

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Comedian

W. C. Fields quote: “Here lies W. C. Fields. I would…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “Hermits have no peer pressure…”

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Comedian

Phyllis Diller quote: “His finest hour lasted a minute and…”

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Comedian

Fred Allen quote: “Hollywood is a place where people from…”

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Celebrity quotes

Mel Brooks quote: “He who hesitates is poor…”

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Comedian

George Carlin quote: “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving…”

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Comedian

Fred Allen quote: “Hanging is too good for a man…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “George is a radio announcer, and when…”

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Comedian

George Carlin quote: “Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you…”

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Funny quotes

Steven Wright quote: “For my birthday I got a humidifier…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “Fettuccini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for…”

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Comedian

George Carlin quote: “Fighting for peace is like screwing for…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “Everywhere is within walking distance if you…”

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Celebrity quotes

Mel Brooks quote: “Everything we do in life is based…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “Every time I go and shave, I…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “Every book is a children’s book if…”

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Celebrity quotes

Mel Brooks quote: “Every human being has hundreds of separate…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “Ever notice how irons have a setting…”

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Comedian

Elayne Boosler quote: “Ever notice that Soup for One is…”

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Comedian

Fred Allen quote: “Ed Sullivan will be around as long…”

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Comedian

George Carlin quote: “Electricity is really just organized lightning…”

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Comedian

W. C. Fields quote: “Drown in a cold vat of whiskey?…”

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Comedian

Fred Allen quote: “During the Samuel Johnson days they had…”

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Comedian

George Carlin quote: “Dusting is a good example of the…”

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Comedian

George Carlin quote: “Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t…”

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