Comedian

Comedian

Jerry Seinfeld quote: “Make no mistake about why these babies…”

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Comedian

Jerry Seinfeld quote: “Men don’t care what’s on TV. They…”

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Comedian

Joan Rivers quote: “I told my mother-in-law that my house…”

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Comedian

Joan Rivers quote: “I wish I had a twin, so…”

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Comedian

Joan Rivers quote: “I knew I was an unwanted baby…”

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Comedian

Joan Rivers quote: “I succeeded by saying what everyone else…”

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Comedian

Jerry Seinfeld quote: “I think it’s funny to be delicate…”

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Joan Rivers quote: “I hate housework! You make the beds…”

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Joan Rivers quote: “I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my…”

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Joan Rivers quote: “I have no methods; all I do…”

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Joan Rivers quote: “I don’t exercise. If God had wanted…”

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Comedian

Joan Rivers quote: “Forty for you, sixty for me. And…”

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Comedian

Jerry Seinfeld quote: “I am so busy doing nothing… that…”

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Comedian

Joan Rivers quote: “Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to…”

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Comedian

Joan Rivers quote: “Don’t tell your kids you had an…”

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Comedian

Jerry Seinfeld quote: “A bookstore is one of the only…”

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Comedian

Jerry Seinfeld quote: “A two-year-old is kind of like having…”

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Comedian

Jerry Seinfeld quote: “According to most studies, people’s number one…”

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Comedian

Jay London quote: “You know what burns me? Matches…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “Wives are people who feel they don’t…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “Women should be obscene and not heard…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “Why should I care about posterity? What’s…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “Why, I’d horse-whip you if I had…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “Whoever named it necking was a poor…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “Why, a four-year-old child could understand this…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “Who are you going to believe, me…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “Well, Art is Art, isn’t it? Still…”

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Celebrity quotes

Groucho Marx quote: “Those are my principles, and if you…”

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Celebrity quotes

Paul Reiser quote: “They’re not the sharpest people — babies…”

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Comedian

Jay London quote: “They asked me what I thought about…”

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