Quotes by topic

Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four…”

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Comedian

Fred Allen quote: “I like long walks, especially when they…”

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Beauty & fashion quotes

Yves Saint-Laurent quote: “I have often said that I wish…”

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Don Marquis

Don Marquis quote: “I have often noticed that ancestors never…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I have the world’s largest collection of…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I haven’t slept for ten days, because…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I hooked up my accelerator pedal in…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I had to stop driving my car…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I have an answering machine in my…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I have an existential map. It has…”

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Comedian

George Carlin quote: “I have as much authority as the…”

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Comedian

Fred Allen quote: “I have just returned from Boston. It…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I had some eyeglasses. I was walking…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I drive way too fast to worry…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I got a chain letter by fax…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I got this powdered water — now…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I had a friend who was a…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I had a stick of CareFree gum…”

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Comedian

Fred Allen quote: “I don’t want to own anything that…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I drank some boiling water because I…”

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Ancient wisdom

Lucius Annaeus Seneca quote: “I don’t consider myself bald, I’m just…”

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Business quotes

Henry Ford quote: “I do not believe a man can…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I don’t have a girlfriend. But I…”

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Life quotes

Stephen Leacock quote: “I detest life insurance agents: they always…”

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Comedian

W. C. Fields quote: “I cook with wine, sometimes I even…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I bought a seven-dollar pen because I…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I bought some batteries, but they weren’t…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I bought some instant water one time…”

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Business quotes

Henry Ford quote: “I cannot discover that anyone knows enough…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I busted a mirror and got seven…”

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