american

Comedian

W. C. Fields quote: “I like children – fried…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four…”

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Comedian

Fred Allen quote: “I like long walks, especially when they…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I installed a skylight in my apartment…..”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I intend to live forever. So far…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I invented the cordless extension cord…”

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Octavia Butler

Octavia Butler quote: “I just knew there were stories I…”

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Quotes from presidents

Woodrow Wilson quote: “I have long enjoyed the friendship and…”

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Quotes from presidents

William McKinley quote: “I have never been in doubt since…”

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Don Marquis

Don Marquis quote: “I have often noticed that ancestors never…”

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Bob Hope

Bob Hope quote: “I have seen what a laugh can…”

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Comedian

Elayne Boosler quote: “I have six locks on my door…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I have the world’s largest collection of…”

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Comedian

Mitch Hedberg quote: “I haven’t slept for ten days, because…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I hooked up my accelerator pedal in…”

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Berke Breathed

Berke Breathed quote: “I ignore Hallmark Holidays. And this comes…”

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Comedian

George Carlin quote: “I have as much authority as the…”

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Quotes from presidents

Woodrow Wilson quote: “I have come slowly into possession of…”

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Comedian

Fred Allen quote: “I have just returned from Boston. It…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I had to stop driving my car…”

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Octavia Butler

Octavia Butler quote: “I have a huge and savage conscience…”

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Bob Hope

Bob Hope quote: “I have a wonderful make-up crew. They’re…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I have an answering machine in my…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I have an existential map. It has…”

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Comedian

W. C. Fields quote: “I drink therefore I am…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I drive way too fast to worry…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I got a chain letter by fax…”

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Comedian

Steven Wright quote: “I got this powdered water — now…”

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Celebrity quotes

Whoopi Goldberg quote: “I grew up in a time when…”

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Bob Hope

Bob Hope quote: “I grew up with six brothers. That’s…”

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