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comedian
Comedian
Eddie Cantor quote: “Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not…”
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Bob Hope
Bob Hope quote: “She said she was approaching forty, and…”
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Comedian
W. C. Fields quote: “Show me a great actor and I’ll…”
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Comedian
W. C. Fields quote: “Set up another case bartender! The best…”
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Comedian
Lewis Black quote: “Republicans have nothing but bad ideas, and…”
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Celebrity quotes
Mel Brooks quote: “Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because…”
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Comedian
Steven Wright quote: “Right now I’m having, amnesia and…”
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Comedian
W. C. Fields quote: “Remember, a dead fish can float downstream…”
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Comedian
W. C. Fields quote: “Reminds me of my safari in Africa…”
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Comedian
George Carlin quote: “People who say they don’t care what…”
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Bob Hope
Bob Hope quote: “People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy…”
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Comedian
Ellen DeGeneres quote: “People always ask me, ‘Were you funny…”
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Comedian
Phyllis Diller quote: “Our dog died from licking our wedding…”
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Funny quotes
George Carlin quote: “One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor…”
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Comedian
Phyllis Diller quote: “Old age is when the liver spots…”
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Comedian
Steven Wright quote: “On the other hand, you have different…”
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Comedian
W. C. Fields quote: “On the whole, I’d rather be in…”
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Comedian
W. C. Fields quote: “Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to…”
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Comedian
W. C. Fields quote: “Now don’t say you can’t swear off…”
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Comedian
George Carlin quote: “Not only do I not know what’s…”
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Comedian
W. C. Fields quote: “Never try to impress a woman, because…”
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Comedian
W. C. Fields quote: “No doubt exists that all women are…”
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Comedian
W. C. Fields quote: “Never cry over spilt milk, because it…”
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Comedian
W. C. Fields quote: “Never give a sucker an even break…”
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Comedian
Phyllis Diller quote: “Never go to bed mad. Stay up…”
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Comedian
Phyllis Diller quote: “My photographs don’t do me justice —…”
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Comedian
Phyllis Diller quote: “My recipe for dealing with anger and…”
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Comedian
Steven Wright quote: “My roommate got a pet elephant. Then…”
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Comedian
Steven Wright quote: “My theory of evolution is that Darwin…”
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Comedian
Phyllis Diller quote: “My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her…”
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More quotables
Pierre Corneille quote: “As great as kings may be, they…”
Oscar Wilde quote: “There is something terribly morbid in the…”
Georg C. Lichtenberg quote: “It is in the gift for employing…”
Moliere quote: “If you suppress grief too much, it…”
W. H. Auden quote: “Sob, heavy world Sob as you spin…”
R. Buckminster Fuller quote: “God is a verb, not a noun…”