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comedian
Comedian
Steven Wright quote: “My roommate got a pet elephant. Then…”
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Comedian
Elayne Boosler quote: “My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness…”
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Comedian
Phyllis Diller quote: “My cooking is so bad my kids…”
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Funny quotes
Steven Wright quote: “My friend has a baby. I’m recording…”
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Comedian
Ellen DeGeneres quote: “My grandmother started walking five miles a…”
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Comedian
Phyllis Diller quote: “Most children threaten at times to run…”
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Work quotes
George Carlin quote: “Most people work just hard enough…”
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Comedian
Eddie Cantor quote: “Marriage is an attempt to solve problems…”
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Comedian
George Carlin quote: “May the forces of evil become confused…”
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Celebrity quotes
Mel Brooks quote: “Look, I don’t want to wax philosophic…”
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Celebrity quotes
Mel Brooks quote: “Life literally abounds in comedy if you…”
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Comedian
Steven Wright quote: “Last night I stayed up late playing…”
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Comedian
W. C. Fields quote: “Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but…”
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Comedian
Steven Wright quote: “Last year I went fishing with Salvador…”
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Comedian
George Carlin quote: “Just cause you got the monkey off…”
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Celebrity quotes
Ellen DeGeneres quote: “Just go up to somebody on the…”
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Bob Hope
Bob Hope quote: “Kids are wonderful, but I like mine…”
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Bob Hope
Bob Hope quote: “I’ve always been in the right place…”
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Comedian
Phyllis Diller quote: “I’ve been asked to say a couple…”
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Comedian
Elayne Boosler quote: “I’ve never been married, but I tell…”
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Comedian
W. C. Fields quote: “It was a woman who drove me…”
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Beauty & fashion quotes
Phyllis Diller quote: “It’s a good thing that beauty is…”
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Comedian
Steven Wright quote: “It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t…”
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Comedian
W. C. Fields quote: “It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker…”
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Comedian
Eddie Cantor quote: “It takes 20 years to make an…”
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Comedian
Steven Wright quote: “It doesn’t matter what temperature the room…”
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Comedian
W. C. Fields quote: “It ain’t what they call you, it’s…”
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Comedian
Steven Wright quote: “Is it weird in here, or is…”
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Comedian
Steven Wright quote: “In Vegas, I got into a long…”
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Comedian
George Carlin quote: “Inside every cynical person, there is a…”
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More quotables
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe quote: “The man with insight enough to admit…”
Thomas A. Edison quote: “I know this world is ruled by…”
Miguel De Cervantes quote: “Virtue is the truest nobility…”
Whoopi Goldberg quote: “I don’t have pet peeves, I have…”
Benjamin Franklin quote: “Genius without education is like silver in…”
William Faulkner quote: “Memory believes before knowing remembers. Believes longer…”